Ten Thousand Pounds of Regret

Let me be the first to say that I cannot wait to get married. At the age of 22 and with my love life on a forced standby it may be a little early to think about such things. But working in the wedding industry has given me countless ideas and I don’t trust myself to remember them so yes I may have started planning my wedding a little early. 

But I really can’t understand why anyone, including myself, would want to spend so much money on one day. One day which, so I have been told so often, is over before you even realise it’s begun. Take the last wedding I worked, just over 100 guests for the day and night so right off the bat that’s close to £10,000 (now you understand the title). Let’s not forget the extra 20 evening guests, so an extra couple of hundred, then flowers, favours, a guestbook, drinks all night, transport, the church’s fee. Suddenly this very expensive day could be funding a deposit on your next house. Which would I rather have? A house of course!

And the number of brides and grooms who tell us that they don’t know where the day went is extraordinary! They hardly sleep the night before because of stress, they have to be up early to get ready to make it to the church in time and even after the deed is done you can’t relax! There’s an endless list of group shots the photographer wants to take, the staff are shovelling canapés down your throat and you still haven’t thanked Auntie Jean for coming. Oh and those children you didn’t want to invite are starving and will soon be crying if they don’t get a bread roll.

But don’t let me put you off! Because it’s time for the food, thank god! Now let’s assume nothing goes majorly wrong with service, a few plates of beef get sent back because they want well done but that’s fine. But don’t think you can just sit down and eat, how dare you relax and enjoy your day! You’ve got to eat as quickly as possible and meander around the room talking to every single guest, including those family members who you can’t remember the name of that you stuck on table ten. And half of the top table will be shitting themselves at the thought of the speeches. Although you could be clever and have the speeches first, but the staff will hate you for that, I would. Then you finish the breakfast and are whisked away as the room is readied for the evening. 

A couple of hours dancing, some more food that threatens to ruin your dress and that’s it, it’s bed time. And trust me you’ll both be too tired or drunk for any of that wedding night fun people talk about! Then you wake in the morning for breakfast and see that the next days bride is already there setting up for her ‘special’ day. 

I feel as though I’m trying to put myself off getting married here, but trust me, I literally cannot wait till I tie the knot. I’ll just know that Auntie Jean can wait for her thank you like everyone else and that the staff have better things to do than talk to you about this beautiful day. The same beautiful day that they see every day. 

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