Date-ja Vu

I read an article recently that said if you didn’t use dating apps in London then you were more likely to find yourself pregnant with twins than be able to get a date. Which is no mean feat seeing as I am definitely a boy! But after some time away from dating apps I decided I would re-download tinder and have a swipe!

I am very pleased to say that I am still Grindr free and have had no desire what so ever to return to that dark place. I’m also proud to say that after a few weeks back on tinder I was back in the game and arranging dates.

Here comes the deja vu. I have been off this week due to some ill timed uni work so I’ve bagged two weeks extra ‘holiday’. So I arranged a date…and another one…and another one. That’s right, three dates in …well not three days this time. I left myself time in between to recover.

The first date was with a beautiful lawyer who lives in East London so I made the long trip out there to have a drink with him and it was really nice! We talked easily and got to learn about each other and he managed to get me back to his place for a little cuddle and maybe a kiss or two.

Great! My first date and I’d found someone I liked. Alas it wasn’t meant to be and he decided the age gap of 10 years (he was 32) was too much. I never really think about age, if you like someone you like them. But he’d had bad experiences in the past dating younger guys so I completely understand. And I am very thankful he did it on the second date and not a month or two in or I would be sat here drowning in tears and writing.

He was very gentlemanly too and we had the discussion in person. Which is great and all but that’s £3 and a two hour round trip bus journey that I’ll never get back. Thanks.

Glastonbury

Last week I had the absolutely amazing pleasure of being at Glastonbury Festival. For one week you can forget about bills and flat hunting and just enjoy being out in the country doing whatever you want. Where else in the world can you enjoy a conversation about shoving tampons up your nose with a stranger in the queue for the most disgusting toilets ever created?

I’m going to sound like a typical whiny millennial for a while here but the freedom that comes with being at a festival for a week is the best thing. The daily grind of work and university back in London is some days unbearable and although I love being in the big city and I love my job it is so nice to get away and be free.

And it isn’t just about being in a place where there are A-list acts around every corner. My favourite days in the festival where the ones spent watching speakers talk about nuclear power or evolution or how climate change can affect human health. I was learning so much last week that I started talking notes!

So now when my lecturer complains about me missing one lesson that was a repeat of something I’ve already done anyway I can tell her I was at a very important lecture about sustainability within the NHS…followed by a Clean Bandit concert of course.

It isn’t even just about the freedom and the immense number of activities to do. Whilst I was there I met someone who was asking if there were any gay places to hang out. They only exist in reality because they were a safe haven for people but at Glastonbury there was no such need for a safe haven because equality permeated the site. Gays and straights drank tea in harmony and the lay people rubbed shoulders with the stars and we all managed to not get muddy together! (Thank you weather god for blessing us with sunshine)

I long for the day when my life and life around me feels just a little bit more like a festival. I want to wake up every day being excited and not quite knowing what I’ll learn or what to expect. I want to be able to talk to anyone, anywhere and not be met with a look of horror because talking on the tube isn’t the done thing. I want to walk down the street and find The Jacksons playing on a stage in the park….okay the last one I can do without.

But is it so bad that people want these freedoms? Maybe it is and maybe it isn’t but that may be a post for another day. For now it’s back to the daily grind. (But not the daily grindr, 27 days without!)

Until next time Glastonbury, Adios!

Everything You’ve Ever Wanted

After living in a perpetual existential crisis for a few years it’s no surprise that sometimes I have days were I think ‘what the hell am I doing with my life?’ I reckon most people think that sometimes and I had just such a moment the other day.

It was my first day back on placement after six weeks in lectures. I love learning, I feel at my best when I am doing productive work that involves tonnes of learning. I think that was one of the biggest problem with my first attempt at a degree. The first term was packed full of new interesting things, then after Christmas the learning stopped as we began our production module. Don’t get me wrong I love performing but it was not I wanted to be doing for the rest of my life and I didn’t want to be paying £9000 for it!

But studying nursing, there is never a time where I’m not learning. In fact I’ll probably be googling those terms on the handover sheet for the rest of my life. Which is great! But after six weeks of solid learning, being back on the ward threw me a little bit.

I knew how to do observations, I could do a fluid balance chart and I could sit at talk to a patient if I needed to. I got home feeling that sinking feeling that I was doing the wrong degree again. This couldn’t be happening, I had to get this degree. My Grandma would kill me if I didn’t get a degree before she died…

I’m glad to say this is only a short post because the next day I had a renewed sense of purpose and I’m back on track to becoming a registered children’s nurse! So I guess I should be all meaningful and say that even though you have those days, or months, when you don’t have a goal and you aren’t happy, you’l find something.

Actually I’m gonna end with a quote Michelle Visage posted on instagram because she is an absolute babe.                  “Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear”